Why is Self-Care So Important?
Our colleagues, friends, and family may believe we are thriving when inside we may just be trying to stay afloat whilst balancing all of the duties and responsibilities we have.
It is clear that no one knows us better and recognizes our needs better than ourselves. As discussed in my last blog, we need to identify when our stress buckets are full and when the world around us becomes overwhelming (remember: look at stress inputs vs outputs in your bucket).
We talked about the idea of knowing when we feel we are getting to the brink of our tolerance and learning about things we can do to alleviate these stress causing factors, i.e. taking care of our mental health. This time, let’s delve deeper into this and really understand what self-care is.
What is self-care, really?
The World Health Organization defines self-care as: “the ability of individuals, families, and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider.” This definition highlights that there are many ways to keep physically healthy, whether through nutrition, seeking help from a healthcare professional, or hygiene.
However, the notion of “health” in this definition can be expanded to fit both the concept of our physical and emotional needs. Both need to exist harmoniously in order for one to truly thrive. Poor mental health is as damaging to your emotional health as cyanide is to the physical. Scary thought isn’t it? This is why it crucial to maintain psychological and physical health, and it needs daily attention. When you think of self-care, clichéd images thrust upon us by society may pop into your mind: an image of a spa day or a bubble bath, a pedicure perhaps. However, this is just the tip of the iceberg- although these things may alleviate stress and can be useful, they are, in the simplest sense, what I like to call “Band-Aid solutions”. Something that is a quick-fix. Let’s put it this way: you have a colleague who is causing some conflict at work and is affecting your performance and emotional health. Yes, a relaxing hydrotherapy massage can take you to the heights of dreamland for a couple hours, but what happens when the “escape” has ended? Back to reality, back to the same problems.
Self-care goes beyond having access to expensive services.
It is not and should not be a luxury. It should be universally attainable by all. We need to learn to define self-care more broadly. Having self-care means that you recognize what you need to do in order to be your best self. Therefore, we need to look at taking care of the mind, emotions, relationships, environment, time, and resources, not just physical actions.
I like to focus on the root cause of our stresses instead of “covering them up” with a Band-Aid. Instead of having a temporary solution that does not deal with the root cause of the problem, I like to explore ways of coping with and reducing stress for good. Now, this does not mean that stress will go away completely. New stress factors develop with new experiences, roles, positions, relationships etc; we cannot prevent stress; but I like to help sharpen your ability to cope with whatever comes your way.
Increasing sleep, eating better, and increasing physical activity are excellent ways of performing self-care.
These are items that are universal to every human, regardless of gender, geography, work, or any other factor. However, if the goal is to develop habits and coping strategies and mechanisms that help reduce the root cause of our stresses, we need to go a bit deeper. The idea is to integrate self-care in our everyday lives, not to add another task to our to-do list.
Here are a couple of tremendous ways of exercising our broadened definition of self-care:
Encompass yourself in positive energy.
Good energy can increase our feelings of well-being, dissipate feelings of anxiety and improve communication. Bad energy results in feelings of conflict and resentment. Taking care of yourself means putting yourself in the right atmosphere and energy. You would not put a loved one in a situation that was unsafe, whether to the physical or emotional self, so why do the same for yourself?
Reward yourself for things done well.
It is important to recognize when we are wrong, to build upon and fix our mistakes, but just as important to know when we do something right. This validates our efforts and gives us the mental strength to keep pushing forward in the next chapter, whether it is a new work week, a new financial quarter, a new project, or anything. It gives us time to reflect on ourselves so our own actions do not go forgotten.
There is no “cookie-cutter” solution that fits everyone.
Although, the aforementioned ideas are universal ways to improve self-care, the fact is that if you or a loved one are struggling with mental health and need help dealing with anxiety and stress, speaking to a professional equipped to do exactly that is often the best solution.
I recognize that everyone has their own needs, goals, desires, and that we all come from different backgrounds, experiences, and obstacles that have shaped who we are. I cannot guarantee that stress and anxiety and other negative energies will not come into your life, but I can at least allow you to be in a safe place where we can work together to develop solutions to fit you.
Think about this next time you feel overwhelmed and need some self-care.
Always remember to Breathe.
— Written by Aman Dhaliwal, Registered Social Worker & Owner, BA, MSW, RSW.
— Written by Aman Dhaliwal, Registered Social Worker & Owner, BA, MSW, RSW.
Breathe Counselling is a south Edmonton-based mental health clinic in Alberta, designed to listen, help, and coach those needing counselling and therapy. We specialize in anxiety & depression, work stress management, life transition & loss, cultural therapy for newcomers, men’s counselling and couple’s counselling. Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu counselling services are available through in-person, virtual or phone call sessions by visiting breathecounselling.ca.