The Importance of Being Empathetic

Navigating and guiding people through their feelings and rediscovering goals and potential has been an important ingredient for change, positive feeling and capability. 

People’s day to day pressures, personal stress or other overwhelming feelings that have not been worked through or healed could tend to start feelings of anxiety, depression, loneliness, grief and even disconnection. 

After 16 years of working as a registered social worker, I have learned that not all human beings want and desire the following:  to be heard, acknowledged, connected and validated.  We seek for someone to help guide us through our goals so we can see and feel that we do have the ability to thrive and take control of our own future. 

Through my experience, whether it from a healthcare perspective or through private sessions, navigating and guiding people through their feelings and rediscovering goals and potential has been an important ingredient for change, positive feeling and capability.  So the main question people ask when they come for sessions or reach out for help is: “How do I get to clarity?” and “What do I do that helps the person to get to that goal?” 

The answer might be ‘empathy’, which is different from sympathy.  What is the difference between sympathy and empathy? Sympathy is defined by ‘feelings of pity and sorry for someone else’s misfortune’.  But, if we look at empathy, this is ‘the ability to understand and share the feelings of another’ gives a different perspective.  When we start feeling low and overwhelmed, our bodies can respond by experiencing a sensation of knots in our stomach, heavy chest and/or negative thoughts that create anxiety and depression. It’s during this time that empathy can be exactly what they may need. 

Let’s review the three types of empathy: Affective, Somatic and Cognitive.

Affective empathy means the ability to understand another person’s emotions and respond appropriately.

Somatic empathy means having a physical reaction in response to what someone else is experiencing.  Having the same pain or body feeling as the one you are listening to. 

Cognitive empathy involves being able to understand another person’s mental state and what they might be thinking in response to the situation.  In other words, 'thinking about what other people are thinking’ (verywellmind, February 2023).

During therapy sessions, it’s important that I provide active listening without interrupting.  It’s also important to pay attention to the person’s body language and other non verbal communication and ask particular and deep questions that help the person learn more about themselves and their current situation.  The biggest thing is to be vulnerable and slowly opening up on one's feelings; engaging in new experiences that give a better insight and how that new experience would feel.   

Having these empathetic qualities can lead to an impactful session and impactful insight on how to allow someone to feel heard and acknowledged, but mainly to help create change and different thoughts and perspectives.  Asking simple but empathic questions, can lead to vulnerability which leads to opening up in a clear way.   

— Written by Aman Dhaliwal, Registered Social Worker & Owner, BA, MSW, RSW.

Breathe Counselling is a south Edmonton-based mental health clinic in Alberta, designed to listen, help, and coach those needing counselling and therapy. We specialize in anxiety & depression, work stress management, life transition & loss, cultural therapy for newcomers, men’s counselling and couple’s counselling. Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu counselling services are available through in-person, virtual or phone call sessions by visiting breathecounselling.ca.